Babyhood Fading

Please excuse me. I’m having a moment.

You see, I’m watching his baby-ness fade before my very eyes. He still has a lot of baby left right now, but I’m seeing glimpses of the toddler peeking through. The baby in him is beginning to slip away and he’s becoming a little boy.

Babyhood – that time when you child is really and truly all baby and not even a little bit of a toddler yet – it’s just so terribly fleeting.

That’s been ok up until now because we knew there would be more babies. But this time, as my baby boy becomes my toddler, the baby-ness is leaving our house forever and — (deep breaths…stifle ugly cry) – I just don’t even want to think about it. I need time to slow the ever-loving-daylights down. Because it’s not just babyhood we’re leaving behind. This marks the beginning of the end of our house being full of really little people.

Ugh. (deep breath in…resist the ugly cry, again)

It’s my hope that when they’re all older, we’ll look back at this time and marvel at how we survived. We’ll remember it as being so intense raising 4 littles at once, and our life will be so easy by contrast, that we’ll be glad this is behind us. It’s my hope that we’ll so very much enjoy the interesting conversations we’ll have with them, and the big kid adventures we’ll go on, that we won’t long for this stage at all.

I hope that’s how we’ll feel, because right now, in this moment – even when they’re driving me bonkers – the thought of no more munchkin giggles and pigeon-toed toddling and sweet, squishy baby snuggles makes me outright ache.

I know this is right for us. I know that it will have to end at some point anyway. (We are not the Duggars, after all.)

It’s still sad.

This phase of life is tiring and trying and crazy so much of the time, but it’s also wonderful. It has a sweetness all its own that you just can’t find anywhere else.

I hope one day I’m glad it’s over, but I’m certain I’m going to miss it too.

So to all my darling babies…this is my promise to you: I will be present. I will soak up every piece of your littleness I can…then I will let you grow up with as much grace as I can muster. I will enjoy you at every stage and not hold you back. I will do everything I can to help you flourish into the wonderful adults I know you’ll be someday.

And then…when someday comes and you’re all grown up…I expect grandbabies who visit often.

Xo,

Mama