Posts by Mel McLellan
9 Ways We Survived and Beat Burning Out as Wedding Photographers
I wasn’t sure I wanted to write this. I mean, even if it’s now in the past, who wants to admit to burnout? What will our clients think? What does that say about us? I don’t ever want anyone to ever feel like we gave them any less than our very best and we have a reputation to uphold after all! But ultimately, I decided this was worth writing because I see a lot of burnout out there. It’s all over the place and I feel like we owe it to all of our clients to work together to push through it and provide them with something awesome, regardless of how we personally feel. If our story can help someone else do that for their clients, that’s all that matters. If our story can encourage someone who is currently burned out – to help them see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, well – even better! So here we go…this is the story of how we burned out, and the steps we took to find the fire again.
You know that feeling when you love a certain food so much that you just can’t get enough of it? You just keep eating and eating and then a funny thing happens: you get totally sick of that food you loved and suddenly you can’t even stand to look at it. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Well, somewhere along the way, Sean and I “ate” a little too much photography business and that same thing happened. Something we loved turned into something we didn’t even want to look at. What was once so rewarding and the thing that made it so that we couldn’t wait to get out of bed in the morning and get to work, turned into a J-O-B.
It’s hard to pinpoint just one reason for why it happened. It was more like a series of things that changed our life and our priorities over time.
I think our first problem was a complete lack of balance from the get-go. We both jumped into this business head first and got fully submerged in it. Everything we did or had was devoted to making McLellan Style better and more impressive and and all the more successful. We were working 80-120 hour weeks at one point for a solid year. There were no weekends, but we didn’t miss them. There was no time to see friends and family, but we didn’t notice. We lost ourselves in our work, but we were happy. We had gained a fair amount of recognition within our industry as speakers and leaders, we were at the top of the market in the Southeast, and we were starting to delve heavily into the destination market. We were doing it together and it was exciting. But here’s the thing: there was no balance of personal and work life – it was all just work and no one can sustain that forever.
Our world changed when we lost our first baby boy in an emergency c-section at 38 weeks. Chasing all of the above very suddenly lost its appeal. We became focussed more inwardly and then when our second son was born, we were just so completely in love with him and with finally being a family. We didn’t want to work all the time anymore – to keep up the rigorous schedule that McLellan Style had come to demand. Our priorities had shifted, but we were trying to keep up with business as usual despite our lack of enthusiasm for it. Fast forward two years and our daughter joined our family. Wow – talk about feeling overwhelmed trying to juggle it all!
All of these personal factors definitely played a role for us, but it was even more than all that. At the same time we were battling what every photographer (perhaps I should say every entrepreneur because I don’t think it’s limited to just us) will battle at some point or another and that is learning how to effectively juggle all of the other hats that are now associated with the hat of being a professional photographer.
It’s interesting what the digital age and social media and the internet at large have done to our profession. Before all that existed, a photographer was largely just that: a photographer. They were one of very few in their town so work came relatively easily. A wedding photographer would interface with a client briefly before and after a wedding, but mainly their job was to shoot a wedding. And it wasn’t like shooting a wedding today – no this was before inspiration blogs and lists from bridal sites so shooting in and of itself was far less involved and complicated than it is today. After the wedding, most sent the film off for someone else to process and when it returned, they delivered a proof book to the client. They placed some print orders, put together an album maybe and then they were done.
Today a photographer must be an expert in so many more fields. They need to master branding, marketing, social media, developing and retouching of digital imagery, graphic design, etc. etc. etc. There are so many more photographers out there that you really must stay on top of all of these things or you’ll quickly fall behind. A photographer is torn in so many different directions and it can easily become far more than a full-time job. We used to see people making photography a life-long career, and now folks are often moving on after only 5-7 years. I thought it was very telling to look through the photography related sites (written by our fellow photographers) that I bookmarked on my computer 4 years ago and find that half of them aren’t even working links anymore. So many of us are just so tired and it’s really no wonder.
So that is how us and so many others have gotten to a place where we just don’t even want to look at the photography “cake” anymore, but for so many of us, this is still our livelihood and we still have an obligation to the people who hire us so the real question is, when you find yourself in that burned-out place, what do you do about it?
Even in those times when we really weren’t “into it”, I feel like our work hasn’t really suffered and our clients have all continued to be very happy. There were several factors that helped us, and our business, survive the burnout phase until we were able to come out on the other side and I’ve shared them below.
1) Keep the Client in Mind.
We have always been very mindful of the fact that this may just be another job to us, but it is a HUGE deal to our clients, be it a session or a wedding, and we need to treat it like the huge deal that it is. Having that mindset forces you to bring your A-game whether you feel like it or not.
2) Prepare.
Knowing that you must bring your A-game doesn’t make it magically appear in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of a wedding day so preparation is key. The more burned out we felt, the more preplanning and pre-visualization we did to get ready for our shoot. We looked through magazines, made sketches, drew out comprehensive plans…we gave ourselves time to be creative before we were under pressure and that helped a lot.
3) Attitude is Everything.
I know there have been so many times where we’ve been kind of down as we drive to a shoot, but as soon as we’re there, it’s great. I truly believe happiness is a choice and we choose to get wrapped up in the happiness and excitement of our clients. Joy is contagious, but you have to be open to catching the bug.
4) Outsource.
As a husband/wife team, we have the luxury of handing off tasks that one of us doesn’t like/isn’t great at to the other person. However, if there’s just one of you, or even if there’s two but there’s a task that you both hate, passing along frustrating work to more qualified hands can make your job so much more enjoyable. Don’t feel like you have to do everything – it will only weigh you down. Make your work feel rewarding again by honing in on the aspects of it that give you joy and outsourcing the rest whenever possible. And if you can’t outsource it, assess whether the task is really important or if it can be let go altogether. Not everything is a must-have.
5) Adapt, Change, Grow.
It was huge for us to realize that our business model for McLellan Style needed to change now that our lifestyle and priorities had. Just because you’ve always done business one certain way doesn’t mean that you have to keep doing it that way. Making the adjustments needed to take McLellan Style from the type of business two workaholics would run to the type of business that would work well for two photographers with a young family has helped us to enjoy it again.
6) Bring Balance.
We made time for us. Whereas before we just worked all the time without thinking about it, we now have clearly defined workdays and highly protected days off. We’ve brought balance to our life and having down-time/family time/time for other stuff in our life besides photography has been essential in making us feel rested enough to give our clients what they deserve.
7) A Little Something For You.
You hear people encouraging you to shoot personal projects all the time. I think that’s great advice. For us, our personal project is photographing our family – documenting these fleeting moments with our small kids while they change so rapidly. I make a fusion piece at the end of every year with our favorite video clips and photos and fills me with a whole new appreciation for what we do and what we’re able to give to other people.
8) Engage.
Spend time with people who are still on fire. The old adage says “like begets like” and I think passion and enthusiasm apply here. Go to workshops, conventions and local meetups. If getting out is hard to do, connect via online sources such as Facebook groups and google+ communities. Spend time with people who are excited about what you do. Exchange ideas, collaborate, develop a healthy competition. I know we feel so much more excited about diving in and tackling things again when we’ve been hanging out with others who are in neck deep and loving it!
Side note: Sean and I just started up a google+ community for photographers to facilitate video hangouts. This way we can get together and discuss ideas from the comfort of our own homes (read: when the children are sleeping ;P). We would love to have you join us! You can connect here.
9) Don’t Rush It.
As you go through all of the steps above, just know that it will take time. More than anything, I think sometimes it’s all about giving yourself time to breathe and knowing that’s ok. As with anything or anyone that you love, emotional highs are seasonal and cyclical. It’s ok to not be passionately on fire all the time, so long as you’re committed and are taking steps to bring the passion back.
And hey – good news! Things do turn around! If you work at it, if you want it, if you’re willing to let your business grow and change as you do, you absolutely will find that spark again. It won’t happen all at once – at least it didn’t for us, but slowly over time we found ourselves enjoying photography more and more. We rediscovered a drive to pursue furthering our business again – because we found a way to integrate it into our new life and make it fulfilling once more rather than draining. I know you can too, and it is my hope that this post will help you get there.
Here’s to happiness and fulfillment in all that you do,
Mel
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The Rader Family
Oh Miss Olivia – you are so loved!
And I just love this sweet family session from last fall! Too often grandparents don’t make it into pictures and as someone who has lost two grandfathers, I can tell you that a great picture of me with them is something I so long for now that they’re gone. I was so happy when Jenn suggested a grandparent shoot for her daughter! I just know that these will be so special to Olivia as she gets older and that makes this photographer happy and fulfilled. :)
Thanks for looking. :)
– Mel
How to Create a Memorable Wedding Ceremony
I posed a question to the married folk on our facebook page recently asking what ended up being really important/memorable about their wedding day when all was said and done. So many people responded with something about their ceremony and that got me to thinking: the ceremony means so much, but in most cases, I think it gets the smallest amount of thought in the planning process.
Over the years Sean and I have had the privilege to witness many many wedding ceremonies. Our favorites are always the ones where the couple has added something of themselves, whether that be their personalities, their interests, their culture or their loved ones. You can always tell that these are favorites of their guests too. They’re so much more engaged and the enjoyment is written all over their faces.
So I’ve been going through our weddings from the past few years and writing down some of the things we’ve seen that I thought made a wedding ceremony really special and memorable. I want to share them with you in case you’re pondering ways to give your wedding or recommitment ceremony that extra something. Sean and I will be married 10 years this year so I’m sure I’ll be using some (all?) of these sometime in the fairly near future myself. :)
Cue the Speeches!
Whether it’s a poem, the recounting of the symbology behind today’s wedding rituals, or the telling of a great love story, I completely adore hearing an out of the ordinary speech given in a wedding ceremony! If the person delivering the speech can tie it back to the couple in some way, even better. In the image below, Lindsay’s father is telling the story of Mark Twain and his wife and it was one of the best wedding speeches I’ve ever heard. I loved it so much that I had to write Lindsay and have her give me more details about it. Lucky for us all, she did one better and sent me the link to where it is written down. :) With her permission, I’m sharing it here: Dr. Collin’s Speech. There are also links in the sidebar of that site to the other great speeches shared in Lindsay and Andrew’s ceremony if you’d like to read more for inspiration.
Advice for the happy couple
Courtney and Jim incorporated this into their ceremony several years ago and it has stuck with me. Whenever I think of special elements to include, this is always the first to mind. This particular couple had 4 different couples stand up and offer them advice during the ceremony: one who had been married for 50 years, a newlywed couple in their first year, a couple who had been married for around 5 years or so, and one who had been married for around 15 years and had a growing family. The very different stages of life represented offered such great insight into how a marriage changes and grows and the advice was so inspiring and meaningful. I love love LOVE this idea!
Get closer photographers!
Your photographers are going to be afraid of making a scene during your ceremony – well, most of them are. ;) On our facebook page it was mentioned that people wished they had closer images from their ceremony, but if you want those, you need to talk to your photographer ahead of time about your desires and what you’re comfortable with. Particularly in large churches with long aisles, giving them the go-ahead to get in there for the shot will go a long way.
Ceremony in the round
Obviously this isn’t possible in every situation, but when possible, I highly recommend seating your guests in a circle around you, rather than just off to one side. It allows all of your guests a more intimate view and the added bonus is that your photographer can get closer in and photograph from so many more angles without being obtrusive.
Amazing live music? Yes please.
Music can enhance a ceremony like nothing else when it’s done well and in a unique fashion. Choosing music that means something to you, not just what you’re supposed to play at a wedding, is always great. Our favorites are the amazing vocal solos delivered by someone the couple loves. If the groom sings to his bride, that’s a bonus. :)
Honoring the Parental Units
In most cases, your parents have worked really hard to get you to this place. Not only did they raise you and all that entails, but they’ve likely made huge sacrifices over the past several months to make your wedding day everything you dreamed it would be. I love it when we see couples honor their parents in some way during the ceremony. Sometimes they include them in the ceremony itself in some way. Sometimes they surprise them with flowers in the middle of things. Whatever it is, it’s always so plain to see just how much those parents are welling over when they are recognized in their child’s big moment and it’s just so sweet.
Skype ’em in!
So often we hear that grandparents are unable to travel so they won’t be able to attend the wedding. Make it possible for them to attend from their own home! We love when we see a seat of honor right up front for a laptop. :) Katie and JJ did this for their wedding last December and then someone continued to carry the grandparent laptop around throughout the entire night. Guests were coming up to say hello, they were in family pictures, they participated in the ceremony and heard the speeches over dinner. What a lovely gift!
Remembering Loved Ones
We also love to see couples acknowledge their loved ones who have passed on. Sean and I both lost grandfathers in the year we were married, so we had a floral arrangement placed above us to recognize them and our other loved ones who had passed. It made them feel more present to have a visual representation of them in that way and that was special to me. Some couples light a candle in their honor. Opal and Brad had framed photos hanging above them as they wed and it was both beautiful and touching.
Write your own vows
I’m torn on this one because Sean and I said traditional marriage vows to each other. We did so because I love the tradition behind it and how those words have been said by so many couples for so many generations. They are special in and of themselves. But when I think through my favorite ceremonies, I love hearing a couples unique vows to each other every time. As you hear the laughter and see the tears from their guests, you know they do too and the couple themselves visibly melt when they hear what their spouse has written just for them.
Our bride Lindsay also made a great point that in writing their own vows, she’s very aware of the things she vowed when they come up in their everyday life. So, on game days when she wants to go out, she remembers that she promised Andrew that she would make time for his favorite soccer team and stays because it means something to him and because she vowed to make it a part of their life together.
Maybe when Sean and I do our recommitment ceremony, we’ll just have to do both. :)
Borrowing from history/other cultures.
I’m sure there are others as well, but we’ve noticed that particularly Hindu and Jewish weddings are full of culture and symbolism. Many of the rituals involve their families to vow support and to publicly recognize the new family unit being created. Other aspects repeatedly physically tie the couple together, reinforcing the bond being created and the significance of their union.
One of our brides, Rupa, who had a Hindu wedding said on our facebook page “The seven steps.. taking turns placing each other’s toes on each step to initiate the vows. 7 steps, 7 vows and subsequently, 7 stones in my wedding ring, each one for each vow for a little reminder every time I look down at my hand.” I love how she made her wedding ring a reminder of her vows in more ways than one. :)
Side note: if your ceremony is going to be spoken in a language that is foreign to most of your guests, an interpreter to explain the significance of the events and narrate for them is a great addition!
A sign of humility
When I posted this question on our Facebook page, my friend Courtney mentioned the feet washing ceremony and I loved the way she described it. She said that she thought it was a great representation of Christ and how a husband and wife should serve each other and each remain humble throughout their marriage. I love that idea.
Keep it intimate.
Again I am torn because I don’t think I could possibly manage to narrow down our guest list of close personal friends enough to have an intimate ceremony and I do love a big party! I think the thing to keep in mind here is to go with your personalities and the size of wedding that you feel will be most special to you. While we’ve seen some amazing large weddings, we’ve also seen big weddings that clearly overwhelmed the bride and groom. In those cases, the small intimate affairs would have been so much more personal and so much more their speed. When the guest list is small, you really get to spend time with each guest, and because they are your closest friends and family, you can really let your guard down and enjoy the day with them. There’s something to be said for that. One option we saw a few years ago that I thought was really cool was when Michael and Greta had only immediate family at the ceremony, and then celebrated with a larger group at the reception. It was emotional and sweet and perfect for them. I highly recommend going with what’s right for you in this respect, rather than what everyone expects of you. It’s your wedding day after all. :)
Ring Warming
If you do go the intimate ceremony route, this is a sweet ritual to incorporate that one of our brides, Ally, told me about: it’s called a ring warming ceremony. At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, the officiant instructs the guests to pass the couple’s wedding rings around the room and for each person to say a silent prayer or blessing over. By the time the rings have been placed on the couple’s fingers, they have been blessed/prayed over by every person in the room. How cool!
Put yourself in your best light!
Lighting during a ceremony seems to be the most neglected item of the day. If your union is going to go down in your personal history as the most significant part of your wedding day, why not make sure it looks good? If you’re getting married outside, choose a time of day where the light just glows (your photographer can help you determine this if you don’t already know). If you’re getting married inside, look for when the natural light is most beautiful, or talk with those brilliant lighting guys you hired for your reception and see what they can do to make you look great during your ceremony as well.
Go out with a bang!
For ceremonies taking place after dark, fireworks make an awesome and unexpected walk back up the aisle.
So there are some ideas to get your started toward planning your perfect ceremony. Whatever you choose, tailor your wedding to you in every way possible. Infuse it with personality, history, significance… whatever is very you! Everyone has seen a standard wedding ceremony. Do something that gets their attention and remains all the more special to you for years to come.